Yarn Along

The knitting for the "Norsk Cloak" as I'm starting to call this pattern is still coming along.  It's quite a huge piece, so thankfully this will be a nice project to just keep going on for awhile so my brain can focus on other things.  I have the color work portion memorized now, so it's easy to just pick it up whenever.

I'm finishing up Own Your Life though you'll probably still be seeing it in my Yarn Along posts for awhile because I feel compelled to read it again, this time with a pen for underlining.  I meant to underline as I went this last time, but never seemed to have one available.  There's just so much in here that I want to sink in, that I don't think I'm done with this one yet.

I am also doing some finishing work for my Plucky Yarn pullover sweater design which will be called "Nåde."  It is inspired by one of the family heirloom baptismal gowns my kids wore.  It's so close to being done, it will soon be in my "for goodness' sake get this edited and published!" pile in no time.

Linking up with Ginny's Yarn Along, and joining other bloggers as we share what we are knitting and reading this week.

Sweet Faces

It's been quite the weekend with Knut being gone at his big ski race in Wisconsin, and even my in-laws (emergency babysitters!) were out of town on a retreat as well.  I fed the kids waffles, which is usually reserved for special occasions.  Maybe I was just trying to cover up the vulnerableness and anxiety of being alone with some sort of "let's party!" attitude portrayed to the kids.  It worked.  

Actually, David is strong enough to do most of Knut's chores around the house, and that's been a big relief to both Knut and I when he is away.  It eases up my burdens quite a bit when I don't have to worry about hauling firewood into the house or lift large, heavy buckets of corn for our corn-burning stove in the basement, or shovel snow off of the driveway.  All those things get David really excited.  He's just built for that sort of thing.  Silje was also a huge help, and we had some great talks this weekend as we were stuck inside due to the extreme colds.

Unfortunately, Solveig and Ingrid both had fevers yesterday, (a few days after these pictures were taken).  They were a low grade, all day sort of thing.  I'm hoping they will be over it soon.  I have to admit, that if I have to deal with sickness in the house, the snuggly kind like this is the best kind to get.  It's not the best for productivity, but it is great for hibernation.

Knut got back last night.  It was a hard race for him this year, and he's pretty sore.  There is so much to be done this week, I'm trying not to get overwhelmed by it, or dream up what I'll do if this sickness works it's way through everyone.

I'll get back to my writings on rest soon.  In the mean time, I'm going to try to work on prioritizing what needs to get done in my house.  Sick kiddos change everything.  

The Quest for Clean

So I've mentioned a few times my quest this year to just have a better handle on housework.  I know with 5 kids home all the time, it's not going to be perfect.  I just want the feeling of drowning to go away.

Throughout this process of focusing my attention to housekeeping, I'm realizing there is an "art" side to it, and a "craft" side to it.  The Hidden Art of Homemaking is a beautiful book by Edith Schaeffer.  It talks about how to be intentional in creating beauty in your home and within the context of home.  I'm so inspired by this side of homemaking.  It's not about scrubbing toilets.  It's about arranging flowers and leaving love notes for your kids, and bringing out your fine linens and putting a small vase on a tray when bringing it out to a homeless man asking for a meal on your porch.  It's about crafting an atmosphere, a space that reflects the beauty and grace of God.  If you are a homemaker, you must read this book.  It will make you see your job so differently.

But like painting, acting, photography, writing and knitting for that matter, there is a craft side to the art.  There's a way to do it right, and do it well.  The craft is the structure on which the art is built.

I've also mentioned that I am not naturally tidy.  I don't like crumbs and sticky stuff, and usually address that first.  But piles of junk?  That's pretty common with me.  I lack in the structure side of homemaking.  Many of my friends pointed me in the direction of "Fly Lady."  It doesn't cost anything, it's just a cleaning schedule that you can do to rotate all the jobs in your house.  Over the course of a month, everything gets clean.

If you go to the website, you can sign up for email accountability, and to be honest, the website is a bit confusing.  I could start at the baby steps, but I just felt that was more for someone who wasn't in the habit of cleaning at all.  I was cleaning all the time but felt like I was spinning my wheels and not going anywhere.  I didn't need to get in the habit of cleaning, I needed a plan, or direction for my cleaning.

I spent about 2 evenings just exploring the site.  There were things I liked: the cleaning zones.  I liked that you focus on deep cleaning areas of your house every week.  I also liked the morning and evening routines.  It sounded very doable.

There were things that didn't fit us perfectly, and really no system will fit 2 households perfectly.  For instance, she suggest that you do one load of laundry a day to stay on top of it.

Haha.  That's cute.

If I did one load of laundry a day, we'd get behind in a hurry.  Also, the zones only address 1 bathroom and we have 2.  It names a living room as a zone, but leaves out family room and finished basement.  The other complaint I've read is that it doesn't give jobs for various people in the family jobs.  I like her explanation of that.  She says that if you want something clean, you need to take initiative, and not just stare at it wishing someone else would do it.  I like that.  Knut does many chores, but most of them take place outside the house.  He does do dishes and scrubs things down from time to time, which is nice.  But he's not home all day to keep it clean.  I am.  I live in the mess, and I need to take a hold of it.

The other issue I had with the system is that we're not just a family that can tidy up the house, and go to work/school, and come back to a clean house.  My house is very lived in.  People are always here.  Messes are continually being made.  Keeping a house this lived in clean requires constant cleaning, not just a few times a day.  The system definitely needed tweaking for a large family that's always home.  The bones of the system are good.  It just needed some customization for us.

As I was 1 week into her baby steps, one of my friends posted about an app that coordinated with Fly Lady.  It's called Home Routine by Wunderbear.  It does cost $5, but in comparison with how much it helps me, I'd say it's worth it.  I went ahead and got it.  I'm so in love with this app.  I was able to delete jobs that just don't apply to our house, such as "wipe down bench" since we don't have a bench.  I was able to add jobs, so that I could check off vacuuming each living area, or sinks in both bathrooms.  I was able to custom make the Fly Lady system for my house, and the specific needs of my house.

As far as spreading out the duties, it's pretty simple.  After every meal the kids and I do chores.  I would just look at the list on the phone, and hand out duties, taking the bulk for myself.  It's just nice to have a plan that I don't have to think about.  When one of my kids says "what's my chore?" I don't have to look around the house and see what needs to get done.  I just look and see what's next on the list.  That doesn't mean I don't look around and change it when necessary, it just means that when my brain is overloaded, I have something to base jobs on without much thought.

I have noticed that the first month was hardest because there was some jobs listed that had quite a built up of junk to go through.  I started back in December, and I'm now on my 3rd month going through the house zones.  It's so much faster now.  The frequency of the rotation has actually made the build up less, and the jobs faster.  I'm liking that.  I did fall off the bandwagon for about a week, the but I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't push me back that far.  I had already over a month of foundation of keeping things clean that it took me no more than half a day to get myself back on track.

The app (which was created with the Fly Lady system in mind, but is not endorsed by Fly Lady that I know of) has morning chores, evening chores, a list of things to be done for the zone of that week, as well as a weekly list.  It also has a timer built into the app.  For instance, I customized the morning chores to look like this:

(It's not done in any particular order.)
-Get dressed
-Start washing machine
-Check calendar
-Breakfast dishes
-15 minutes in focus zone
-Devotions
-Take vitamins
-5 minutes putting out hot spot.

In all honesty, sometimes I don't get through this list until about 3pm.  But it has been getting done, and that's the point.

On a side note, I hate putting devotions on my to do list, most especially next to taking vitamins.  It feels like it's lowering, or lessening it's importance.  It's just that I'm easily distracted, and have a whole army in this house that is working hard to keep me distracted (or at least it feels that way) and this list helps me keep priority things that are important to me.  It's not perfect, but it has been beneficial for actually getting me in the Word.  So it stays.

So when I have a 15 minute opening where the kids are occupied, I pull open my zone list for that week, start the timer, and complete as many things on that list as I can until the alarm sounds.  It's a pretty fantastic alarm too, akin to Dave Ramsey's "We're debt free!" vibe.  You can set alerts to do certain tasks at certain times (for those of us who are easily distracted).  I can then set the timer for 5 minutes and work on the kitchen counter where clutter piles up high nearly hourly.

I think what I like about it is the jobs are so bite sized.  The scale on which I have to clean may be big, but if I just stick with the 15 minute clean ups and 5 minutes putting out the "hotspot" an incredible amount actually gets done.  I can actually do them without feeling like a failure. For someone like me who needs to feel like something is done well, and can never accomplish "clean kitchen" I can handle "wipe down kitchen chairs."

Right now I'm doing the bulk of the "weekly chores" on Saturday.  This works out logically with homeschooling, but has been difficult with my neck and chronic pain.  So many of the chores I have for that day I simply cannot do back to back.  I have relied on the kids a lot on this day, and we work on this list as a team effort, when none of us have to do any school related work.  So far I've only been able to do half the weekly list every Saturday, and the other half on a different Saturday.  However, it's so much better than what I was doing before.

I love that I can just set up the plan in my app, and I don't have to write out a to do list every day.  Scraps of paper left everywhere in my house is now a think of the past, and I don't spend any time writing out the list every morning like I used to.  I used to spend 15-20 minutes every morning (or sometimes the night before) writing out a to do list.  That time is now spent actually cleaning, using a pre-set to do list.

Things I wish were different:

-I wish I could somehow get meal planning coordinated with this to do list.  That's just another big area that I have to juggle.  So far my meal planning still takes place in a 3 ring binder.  I've added "make bread" on my weekly/Saturday list, but I'd love to have more space to move around involving food in this app.

-There is no reminders to de-clutter or get rid of stuff on the app as there is on the Fly Lady website.  I'd love to be decluttering spaces more on a daily basis.  Of course, I could add this into each zone, but I'm not sure I need to declutter that often?  Maybe I should be, but I'm not right now.

-I wish there was another category for afternoon chores.  In our house, I have learned that in order to stay on top of the mess we do a quick clean up after each meal.  It's short...less than 30 minutes.  (I get mine done in about 15 minutes, but the kids work a bit slower than me.  Actually if their attitude is just right they have the ability to drag out the 15 minute chore to 2 hours even somedays.  They're talented like that.  They have learned that they don't like doing that much anymore, though.)  The app only has morning and evening chore lists, as I imagine most families are not at home around lunchtime.  It would really be nice if I could add a list for afternoons.  Right now I just sort of ad lib for our afternoon chores, and have the kids pick up their school books, and we just tidy up the kitchen and fold one load of laundry.

I find myself cleaning up little messes a lot quicker, because I just do it once I'm on a roll cleaning.  The biggest thing I like about this system is it gets me started.  Looking around at a messy house, and knowing  that you can't conquer it but you should get up and try to anyway is incredibly depressing.  But putting small goals in front of me, I start, and often don't stop because it feels so good to make a beautiful space.

I still have to look at it as making a space beautiful, rather than "cleaning it."  The artist in me relies heavily on that inspiration side of "cleaning."

So that is my unbiased, unpaid review of both Fly Lady and the Home Routines app.  I think that both those 2 resources work incredibly well together.  I'm loving it, and I'm allowed to slip up from time to time without falling down in failure.  The kids and I are in much better habits, and although our house is not by any stretch a picture of cleanliness, the stress of the mess is much, much lower.  I don't feel so panicky- out of control about my housework anymore.  Well...at least not as often.

Yarn Along

So...

I'm still knitting the same thing, and reading the same books. (Pattern my own.  Books: Own Your Life and Nothing to Envy.)

This is how bloggers get writer's block.

Linking up with Ginny's Yarn Along.

February News

So, my kids are attempting to take over my computer.  That accounts for the lack of blogging.  Our television broke, and I made the mistake of showing them a Netflix move on my computer so they'd be quiet for just a few minutes.  Now they think that my big expensive laptop that not even Knut is allowed to touch is theirs.  Come to think of it, Knut takes it over in the evenings and watches Nordic ski races on it after the kids are in bed.

I don't want to get another television, but I seriously need to take back my computer.  I can't get any writing done these days like this.  I saved up my knitting money for this computer 2 years ago, and password protected it so it would be one thing that was just mine and I wouldn't have to share.  I was sick of standing in line in this house to use the computer.  2 years later, I find myself in the exact same situation.

Weird picture of me in my jammies with old slippers.  It's an odd picture, I know, but I haven't been taking many pictures this last week either.  They say blog posts should have visuals.  There ya go.

One of my best friends is in the hospital.  She and her husband went to Chad, Africa a few weeks ago, and she started getting achy and then feverish a few weeks after they got back.  She's been on oxygen, and they're treating her for a range of things that it could be.  They have ruled out several things, but have not pinpointed exactly what it is.  I got to visit her, and I just wanted to take this from her, whatever it is she has.  It is such a helpless feeling, seeing someone you love in pain.  Could I beg some prayers that they would be able to diagnose this, and that she would have a speedy recovery?  I know her husband and 3 little kids miss her at home tremendously.  She is on my mind throughout the day, through all school and chores, etc.

In other, less important news...

We got a new kitchen table this weekend.  Actually, we got it off of a local Facebook buy/sell/swap page for cheap.  It turns out that it was this perfect condition table of an older woman who just had to move into a nursing home, and her daughters were cleaning out her condo.  We can now fit 7 chairs around this table, and that means that Knut or I don't have to stand over the counter to eat, or hold our plates on our lap around the table.  We can all sit together again.  Plus the table is so wide that the kids can't reach to get the food they want.  They have to ask someone to pass it.  I think our table manners have increased 150% in the last 24 hours.

Adding new furniture meant that I had to move around some other furniture.  We moved an old hand-me-down buffet that was in the kitchen to the front entryway just to have a little bit more space for the bigger table.  To move it, I had to empty it out.  If I'm emptying out, I might as well wipe down the insides and put everything back better organized.  Actually this whole thing has started a chain reaction of spring cleaning that I wasn't quite ready to start.  My house looks great because of it, though.  That's happy.

It's happy, but also just one more thing to juggle at the moment.  I'm smiling a lot seeing everything fall into place as to how I've always wanted it arranged in the first place.  It's also got me thinking about refinishing the old buffet  this summer.  The finish on it is in awful condition.  I'm wondering if I should try a chalk paint project with it?  I'll have to start exploring some colors.  I may ask my sister-in-law whose how I visited over the weekend for a baby shower.  Her painted projects are gorgeous, and she pulls colors together in a way I just can't.  I somehow consistently pick colors about 2 shades off from what I want consistently when it comes to paint.

There's lots going on in our house this week.  David will be testing for his next level of Tae Kwon Do belt (don't ask me what color).  Knut his his huge annual ski race this weekend.  He's nervous, like always.  I'm planning on spending my evenings this week actually on my computer and actually finishing all those patterns that have been floating in limbo since before Christmas.  I'm really going to do it  this time.  Promise.  Then maybe I'll have the money to get the kids their own "school" computer.  Then I can have this one back to myself.

Yarn Along

So I ripped back my color work project again about 2 weeks ago, and have been stewing again.  I know.  It was such a waste of time.  But as they say, a stitch in time saves nine.  This will be a marathon project and I want to pull back as soon as I realize it's not right.  Now it's right.  I've actually made it past my typical "8 inch simmer" time and I'm nearly done with all of the neck increases, and it's going to be smooth sailing here for awhile.  I really hope this turns out how I have it in my head.  I really hope my math is right.

I'm working on 2 books, both strikingly different.  I'm still reading Own Your Life by Sally Clarkson.  It's a book that I have been reading slowly because there's so much to think about there.  I don't want to rush it.

I also started a book that I found out about randomly on Facebook, as one of my friends posted a picture of it with the comment "This is the most interesting book I have ever read." It's about North Korea.  I was intrigued.  It's called Nothing to Envy.

I love history.  Historical books get me so excited.  I feel uncomfortable when I hear of historical events that I totally don't understand.  In jr. high I read a biography on Harriet Tubman, and I got on a big Civil War kick for awhile, from a slave perspective.  When I was a teen I was really into reading anything involving WWII, Hitler, or Anne Frank.  Then in college I read Killer Angels and that brought me into looking at the Civil War from a military point of view which was a whole new layer. (I revisit these interests of mine often.)  I think it was last year I read a book on the Russian royal family that was all killed during the revolution.  I learned why that happened, and what followed.  It was fascinating because it was so far out of my realm of knowledge.

I don't know much about the Korean War.  I know bits and pieces of it, but let's be honest: what I know, I know from the t.v. show "M.A.S.H."   I don't know why we were in it, why it ended, and how it got us with where we are today.  This book is written by a journalist who writes about the lives of 6 different people who currently live in South Korea, after defecting from North Korea.  She interviewed several people but these were the stories she was able to verify through multiple sources.

I'm only at the beginning, reading about the first person's story.  The author goes back into the history of this person, and talks about where their parents were during the war, and where their family was originally from, etc.  (I should give a warning that I've come across 1 swear word so far.)  I'm learning so much about the Korean culture, or I should say the modern world's assault of Korean culture.  I learned about the Japanese occupation of Korea prior to Japan surrendering in WWII, and how that created a power vacuum in Korea that made Washington D.C. nervous.  I learned about the 2 officers in Washington who looked at a map of Korea, and knowing nothing about the culture or people, or ever have been there, just divided it up based off of a neat latitude placement on the map while in their office in Washington, and knew nothing to do with rivers, families, or natural separation of land.  The upper half was under Russia's protection, the lower half under US protection.  It's like Germany is still split.  This is our modern day Berlin Wall.

So it's not exactly a light-hearted read.  It is sobering, but sobering things are often necessary.  I have no wish to live in a bubble, oblivious to what is going on around the world.  I can already feel my mind opening up some more.

Linking up with Ginny's Yarn Along.

Messy Joy

I heard Pastor Tim Keller say not that long ago that he finds it interesting that in all of Paul's letters in the Bible, not once does he pray for a change in circumstance.  I've been chewing on that thought for awhile now.  It's an interesting notation, because other passages do make it clear that we can and should pray for God to act and move in our lives.  God does change circumstances, when it suits his will.  The Bible also says that we do not have because we do not ask.

My kids wanted to make themselves a snack the other day, and came up with the idea to make cupcakes.  It was not what I would have picked at all, but I said ok simply because they were actually getting along and were excited to work on something together.  It was beautiful, in a messy sort of way.

I have been working this year on keeping better hold on the cleanliness and order of my house.  I have a list I work through each day that is very manageable.  I'm not good about it every day, but I'm good about it more days than I usually am and those good days start to add up to a bit more sanity.  Breaking up my goal into chewable pieces has really helped.

My mom used to say that she read somewhere that messy people are actually frustrated perfectionists.  They see that it cannot be done perfectly, so they don't bother doing it at all.  I've always thought that described me perfectly.  The thing about goals and standards is that they are this level of perfection that we will likely not ever meet.

They say "cleanliness is next to godliness" though that is not found in the scriptures.  God's word talks about God finding us, and God meeting us in the midst.

...in the midst of mess, disorder, craziness.

It's the beauty of grace: he comes to us in our craziness, not us fixing ourselves up for him.  He's the God of restoration.  Sometimes he changes circumstances, but I see over and over again Jesus prioritizing, and focusing on people's hearts more than their circumstances.

Motherhood is this constant reminder that our children will not be trained overnight.  It's this process spanning decades where you repeat yourself over and over, but messes keep popping up like weeds in a garden.  There are literal messes, and then there's the spiritual ones.  Oh, we are a mess sometimes.

He does not call us, or provide us joy only in perfection or a job well done.  He gives it to us in the midst.  He is with us in the mess.  He will put all things right, starting with the most important: our hearts.  It's easy to get fooled into the idea that our hearts will be healed when the circumstances allow.  God is greater than that.  He heals our hearts in the midst of any circumstance.

When we pray that God's will be done, we should keep in mind that he prioritizes hearts over circumstances.  He will always put people before things.

I'm saying this to myself more than anyone else.  I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and prioritized my "quiet" time.  I put "quiet" in quotation marks because I was interrupted from reading my one chapter of the Bible no less than 20 times.  I yelled at my kids no less than 5 times to leave me alone with my Bible open on my lap.  (I had got them all set up with something to do, snuck away, and tried to get in some quick wisdom and restoration.  The kids had other plans.)  I want so badly to have a good day today, and it feels like my kids are taking turns ruining my plans for sanity like an eternal game of Wack-a mole.

This life is messy.  It's imperfect.  But make no mistake, he is with us in this mess.  He is the anchor in the storm.  He has not abandoned us.  It's a walk, a journey, not this state of perfection that we have reached.

Art Class

Solveig starting painting the chalkboard easel with water some time back, and now it's one of her favorite things to do.  Well, it started with her just licking her finger and "painting" with her spit as the paint and her finger as the brush.  She did it so often that I finally got her a cup of water and a paintbrush and she has preferred that greatly.  Ingrid is now into painting with water too, and it cleans up the chalk off the chalkboard as well, so that's a bonus.

Ingrid is getting so big, it's crazy.  New words come popping out of her mouth daily.  She says whole sentences, and it stops me in my tracks when she does it.  Some time after I took these pictures I decided to trim her mullet a little again.  Now that I see these pictures I realized it probably wasn't as bad as it was in my head.  I just wanted it to be more even.  At any rate, her hair is a tad shorter now.

Silje has been wanting to do more art, and at the beginning of school last year, I got her this little art class on DVD.  The supplies were kind of expensive, though, so I saved up for those and just got her some for this semester.  She did the whole DVD at once, though she was supposed to stop it several times she just wanted to keep going so I let her.  The medium here is soft pastels (I had some cheap pastels but a specific kind was requested and I was silly and wanted the exact stuff that the instructor said she should have.  I wish I had just let her at least tried before with the stuff I had first, but at any rate she has nice pastels now.)

She loved it so much, and asked if she can do the video a few times, and make a few of the same piece just to see if she can improve each one, and then compare the different drafts.  I thought that was a great idea.  What I loved about her doing this video is we got to pause and talk throughout about different blending techniques, and things like balance and depth.  I loved how she got so many colors done so subtly in the lake section.  Honestly, I sort of wanted to do it along with her but I was doing some chores in that room and listening in.  I think I might the next time she runs through it.  It just looks fun.  She wants to work on the bluebird picture next, as she has that DVD too, but I think we'll wear this "Peaceful Lake" one out several times before we break into that one.  I'm determined for us to get as much out of it as we can.

Procrastination

Sigh.  I need to do my taxes...at least my portion of the family taxes.  I need to get together my knitting pattern receipts and homeschooling curriculum receipts to Knut.  I need to enter them all into the spreadsheet and get him the exact numbers.  It's just so... so...

I should make some scones.

I need to call customer service of some company for a particular issue.  I hate calling customer service and getting something straightened out.  It stresses me out.  I hate arguing with people.  I have to prep myself with herbal tea.  And what goes better with a cup of tea but some knitting?

Of course, not knitting that should be getting done.  By the way, how many patterns do I need to finish writing up?  4 was it?  Maybe 5?  Hey look!  Another sock pattern I should knit.  I think I might have yarn for that too.  If the yarn is from my stash that makes it feel much more responsible.

I also have to find some suitcases.  Also, I need to find a better cage for Silje's pet rabbit before our new chicks come and kick the rabbit out of the brooder where we've been keeping her.  I'm sure there was something else I'm supposed to be doing.

I'm sure if I sit here knitting long enough I'll think of it...

Yarn Along

I'm at the end of these Irish Oats socks, and I'm loving them so much I think I'll have to make another pair for myself as these are a gift.  I'm really on a roll with socks, and I really have other knitting to do but it's just that addicting.

I know it's a funny thing to put a seed catalog into my reading for the week, but just like I love reading cookbooks when the story of the recipes are included, I love reading this seed catalog that tells you the history of that seed.

It's an heirloom seed catalog that has an extraordinary collection of seeds from around the world.  Tidbits like "we got this pepper from the So-and-so family from this city in Mexico, and they have been growing this heirloom variety since 1832."  Or, "this squash was used in Maine, with the latest known reference being in a seed catalog published in 1912, and is known to be harvested as soon as it starts to change color and ripens well in storage."  It talks about the history of which corner of the world these seeds were found, and why these families used these varieties for generation after generation.  It didn't just give the names of the seeds, it talked about which variety is better canned, which one is better fresh, which one handles frost better than another, and how well they store over winter.  I feel like I learned so much.  I actually read through the whole thing twice.  I had a lot of fun picking out my seeds for next year.

I actually love growing things in my garden that I simply cannot buy.  I like growing things that are hard to find.  The first few years on the farm, I realized that I dreaded gardening mostly because gardening was a system, and I was to work within that system, and everyone around me knew the system, and I didn't.  The system made me feel stupid.  I hated the system.  I love to experiment.  I like to wonder.  The whole thing is fun when it's childlike for me.  I'd rather try some daring new gardening technique and fail miserably than never learn anything new.

When I finally realized my issues through some discussions with Knut (when I talk and talk and talk and finally figure out what's bothering me...he's a patient man), he encouraged me to start experimenting.  He told me to make gardening mine, not just the family way.  The freedom with that this last year was amazing.  We had our best year of gardening yet.  That's not to say that we weren't overrun with weeds by the end, and we did have some major fails in there.  Our kitchen was always brimming with produce, though, and I learned so much.  It was exciting again.

So I'm going even more daring this year, and I'm going to try to correct some things that didn't go well last year.  Plus I'm starting to realize more how I want the garden to look and how I want things arranged through all of this trial and error.  I'm starting to get a feel for how it should go together.

I've been debating back and forth about starting plants early indoors again.  I stopped trying this several years ago because I couldn't remember to bring the seed trays in from the 3 season porch at night, and I always seem to have some toddler on hand that loves to play in my trays of seedlings and mess it all up.

Every time I mention to Knut that I might want to get some lights for starting seeds, and maybe a cart or shelf of some sort, he said he thinks his mom had something like that in the basement, but he didn't even know if they worked anymore, or if the lightbulbs were broken or something.  It sounded like a project every time he mentioned it, so I honestly just looked to see how much new ones cost.  But he kept saying I should at least see if I could get them working first.

So he didn't really describe where they were very well, and I went down to the "old basement" of the house (the unfinished side of the basement) 3 or 4 times trying to find them, then figure out where to plug them in, and finding cords, etc.

So I finally found them. They were fixed to Knut's wax bench, where he waxes his cross-country skis.  I think in hindsight he was clear about where they were I just didn't recognize them for what they were.  I was looking for some broken down things that I thought would be hidden under some box or under some bench or in the back of some shelf somewhere.  I had no idea they were these lovely lights on the workbench.  Knut had never turned them on, but I got them plugged in after getting an extension cord going, they turned on immediately...all the bulbs and everything.  They're in perfect working order, and will hold 4 full trays of seeds easily.  I'm so excited.  I'm starting seeds this year!  And they're even fixed to some nice shelves, and in the unfinished basement where the toddlers never are.  It could not be any more perfect.  Well, I have to kick all of Knut's ski wax out.  There's not much snow this year, and I still have a about 2 months before I plan to start the seeds, so it shouldn't be too hard.  But it's good to know that there's a plan.

Linking up with Ginny's Yarn Along.

True Rest

As beautiful as rest is, I cannot at this moment think of something else that has brought about so much legalism, so much debate, and so much judgmental comments as to what is rest and what is not.

It started back in the Old Testament, where standards laid out in Levitical law (which were strict to begin with) were added upon, so that it got even more complex.  Jesus argued about Sabbath law with the Pharisees.  Even in books like Laura Ingalls Wilder Farmer Boy she describes Almanzo having to sit still the whole day, as play (even for children) was not allowed on their day of rest.

When I first got married, and we would often go out to the extended family's lake cabin in the summer on Sundays, I found out (very slowly, because no one ever said anything directly to me and it took me awhile to figure it out) that it was not looked well upon that I brought my knitting with me as I sat and looked over the lake with the rest of the family.  Handwork was not done on Sundays on the farm, traditionally.  (I think different generations view different activities as leisure vs. work, but that's another musing.)

As a principle, the family farm that we live on still stops the combines and does not harvest on Sundays.  We are one of the few farms left in the United States that does this.  My uncle, not on the farm, tells me the story of visiting Israel, and an Orthodox Jew he met, who had been standing in an elevator for several hours on the Sabbath, waiting for someone to come by and push the button on the elevator so he could go up to his apartment.  Pushing buttons was considered work, and he would not do it.

(Old picture, but still a favorite of mine.)

So what defines rest?

As we stated last week, sometimes it's really hard to rest, most especially when we see work that still needs to be done.  One might say that you have to work hard to rest.

From the Christian perspective, you can have all the illusion of obedience, but still have a "stiff neck."  You can have a hard heart, no connection with God, and do your best to do everything just right.  Rest absolutely falls into that category.  Yes, we are blessed when we obey, as it's the nature of doing the right thing.  But we cannot find rest through our own "works."  You see, deep rest, true rest goes so much deeper.

Hebrews chapters 3 and 4 talk about Jesus being our rest, and how we enter into his rest through belief.  Specifically, Hebrews 3:18-19 is  about how the people of God were unable to enter his rest because of unbelief.

We don't enter into rest by observing the law, we enter into rest by believing that Jesus completed the law.

The book of Hebrews makes this very clear.  This moves resting from the category of something we HAVE to do, to something we GET to do.  Resting is no longer this law we must fulfill but this blessing God puts before us.

The question then becomes, do we trust it?  Do we think it's for us?  Do we really believe?  Will we exercise our faith?  Will we take this blessing?  When the Sabbath moved from a law we must fulfill to this gift found in Jesus, we must understand that "fixing our eyes on Jesus" (Hebrews 12:1-2) and being molded and comforted, and defined by his word, we are entering into rest.

Rest is a bodily need.  Jesus compares himself as the fulfillment of those daily needs throughout the New Testament.  "I am the bread of life." (John 6:35) "I am the living water." (John 4:14)  he told people to come to him for rest (Matthew 11:28-29) and here in Hebrews, he is defined as our rest too.  We need bread, water, and rest daily.  If we find our rest in him, then we must actually fix our eyes on him, being taught by him.

Jesus' Example

Can we also take notice, that as the God rested on the seventh day of creation as a model for his people to follow, so Jesus on earth rested and spent time in prayer, daily and often throughout his ministry.  He did this even more when there were crowds around, and lots of activity.  Surely someone as perfect as Jesus didn't have to go be by himself and pray that often.

I think it's safe to say that Jesus' ministry on earth was exhausting.  People constantly needed him.  You nearly see him running away from crowds following him on a daily basis.  He could heal people.  That was a huge draw.  He said things people just don't say.  People didn't want to miss the drama of that.  Plus, there was something about him.  He spoke with such authority that people listened to him.  Miracles were seen often, and I'm sure at times he felt like a circus show.

Where did he get his strength?  Obviously, he was God, but in Philippians 2, it talks about how he humbled himself, and emptied himself by taking the form of a servant.  Hebrews 4:15 talks about how he is our high priest who actually understands our troubles.  I think Jesus felt weak and overwhelmed often...yet he did not sin.  His solution?  He would have some prayer time, in a quiet place with his Father.  Sometimes it was at the end of a long day.  Sometimes it was in the morning.  Sometimes it was right smack in the middle of the day.  But when he needed rest, he knew where to go.

In fact, for him, he had no problem with his disciples harvesting grain as they walked through a field on a Sabbath to get a snack.  He had no problem healing on the Sabbath.  He blatantly didn't care about legalistic man-made interpretations of laws.  What he cared about was communion with his Father.

Perhaps he was trying to show us something.

Our family still enjoys that my husband gets to take Sundays off, even through the busy farming seasons.  Honestly, that day off is our sanity as a family.  I see so much wisdom in the pattern of taking a day off of work.  My father in law has told me stories about times when the forecast said hail in the middle of harvest, and they still firmly took Sunday off, and could see later that the hail pulled up to the edge of their field and stopped.  That doesn't mean we've never had fields hailed upon (because we do...often).  It just means that sometimes you have to exercise your faith and say, "You know what, God is enough.  He told me to rest, and I will."  The beauty of it, as well, is that they get so much more done in the 6 days they do work than if they had been trudging along for 7 days.  I firmly believe that.  They are more alert.  They make better decisions.  They have a moment to let their bodies and mind rest and refocus.

The main question to be asked is are you following the law, or are you exercising faith.  It may seem like a small difference, but in fact it's a big question.

So what does this mean?  Does this mean that Jesus completed the law, so we no longer have to rest? Does this mean that we should take one day a week off, or maybe we should have a daily prayer time instead?

It means that Jesus is our high priest.  He is our Sabbath.  He is the source of rest.  Since he is the completion of the law, we must look to him, and his words to the great "How then shall we live?" question that has been asked by theologians for ages.

Walking in the law now means walking with Jesus.  Not because his ways are a new law, but because they are the law completed.

He covers all of our mistakes, and all us falling short with his own blood.  He shows us the way we should walk in each circumstance, sometimes as we are doing it.  Following him must mean abiding in him, fixing our eyes on him.

When we are not spending time with him, in the Bible (the vocabulary of the Holy Spirit, as my friend Sally recently said) either in one big chunk of the day, or throughout the day, then how can we be finding any rest?

Martin Luther, the great reformer once said: "Work, work, from morning until late at night.  In fact, I have so much to do that I shall have to spend the first three hours in prayer."

Now, I don't spend hours a day in prayer.  I wish I could be like a monk sometimes.  But one has to see a pattern here.  Some of the most effective, influential, and godly people in history have one thing in common: they went to the source for their rest, and they went there a lot.

People trying to do it on their own will be left with only their own strength.  People trying to do it on their own go day in and day out, in a zombie like fashion, telling themselves they can't stop, they can't rest.  They believe can do it, they're strong enough.  They have to.  There is no one else.

But they can't, and they fall.  Their influence is gone, the memory of their work is temporary, because they're not going to the source for their light, they're just trying to shine their own.

Spending time in prayer and Scripture isn't a good work.  It's a good rest.

You know what else is a good work?  Actually sleeping.  I remember a time before Ingrid was born, when I was getting so good at having daily time in God's Word.  I got up early, and had my quiet time every morning for a few months.  It was the most consistent I had been as a Christian in my whole life.  I was just so proud of myself.

Then Ingrid was born.  I tried.  Really I did.  It was actually pretty ridiculous as I had so little sleep, and I would set my alarm and climb out of bed with my stiff, sore body that had just given birth, and fall asleep over my Bible, because I was on such a good streak, I didn't want anything to stand in my way.

It was during that time, when God gave me actual, physical rest.  Really, what was I trying to prove?  What was I trying to accomplish?  A great streak of no missed mornings?  Jesus insists on only meeting with me a 7am sharp like some hospital nurse waking me up for vitals?  Was it some sort of notch in my belt of how often I had devotions?  I strongly felt God telling me to rest, and assuring me I'd know when to start the practice of getting up again.

And I did know when it was time.  I had to learn some more things, though.

Those who know me know I don't turn away dark chocolate, or my morning coffee.  I don't turn away gifts that feed my soul.  I realized I was believing this lie that time in God's Word was a chore that I had to complete, like soggy, canned vegetables to be eaten.

I had to claim the truth.  But even that was a struggle.  The problem with that is that I believed in my brain that time with God was rest, but I believed in my heart that it was hard.  If it was hard it then it was work.  Facebook was easy.  Blogs were easy.  Reading a different book was easy.  Chatting on the phone with a friend was easy.  I knew it was an illusion, but I struggled.

So then I asked God to make me crave him more than coffee.  I prayed this silly prayer every day. I rationalized, that when I get up in the morning, if it's too late, I won't say, "Oh shoot, we try to start our school day at 8:30.  It's 8:15 and the kids haven't eaten.  Oh well.  I guess that means I can't have my coffee today.  If I can't have it at 7:30am, I don't want it at all."

My husband wouldn't believe me.  He'd pour me a large cup and hand it to me before he headed off to work saying: "You're late.  You're going to need this."

I missed it.  I started craving it like crazy.  I had to find other ways during that season, of just reciting Scripture in my head while I was snuggling a baby, and that became my rest.  Sometimes I'd just sit down in the middle of what I was doing and open my Bible and pray, even though it was not ideal, but I needed it.  I sometimes put on music that got the Word in my heart, and that became my rest.

I realized that if I just wanted a perfect attendance card for daily devotions, God wasn't giving out any awards for that.  And in fact, I needed to realize that spending time in prayer and reading the Bible wasn't a job I could do for God, it was time he was offering me.  But the rest he provided was practical in a spiritual way, but also practical in a physical way.  God is concerned about both.  In fact, fear of knowing that I would fail to complete some invisible gold sticker chart of perfect attendance in devotions, kept me from devotions.  I didn't want to commit because I knew I would fail him.  Looking at my dusty Bible made me feel a longing, and a sadness that I couldn't live up to what I thought God wanted from me.  I fell right back into the path of thinking I had to earn grace. I couldn't get it through my head for a long time, that it wasn't for him.

It was for me.  And I didn't have to feel guilty, because there's no condemnation for those who are in Christ.  There's just the next step in the walk.

If resting becomes something legalistic, then it's formulaic.  We ought to remember that the only formula Jesus gave us to produce good fruit (do amazingly good works) was to abide.  That is simply the only formula he gave.  There was no "Top 5 ways to be in influential Christian" sermon he gave, or "How to get it all done" sermon.  He said abide.  Go to the source.  Drink and be refreshed in him. Be restored by him.

Because you're going to need this.  We need this time with God to be effective.  We need to realize not just in our heads, but in our hearts that we cannot do this life apart from God.  "For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10.




If you want a reminder about next week's post on rest, or other topics, you can follow me on Facebook, or sign up for email reminders on the sidebar of the blog.  Next week, I'm going to speak directly to other mothers, and brainstorm some ways we can as a community get some rest even though we're needed 24/7, both in a spiritual sense, and a physical sense (I'm talking naps people).  For the beginning of this series on rest, and some background information, you can go here.  

If you are on social media, I would appreciate (if you're so inclined) you sharing a link to this post (or any of the posts to come) with your friends, most especially those you feel could use a good encouragement and source for rest.