I'm Blessed

We saw our first robin in our yard yesterday.

Our new spring chicks arrive today.

Our cut firewood for this winter is gone.  Knut has begun work on some more to tide us over, and for next year's pile.

Our 9 adult hens have recently doubled their egg output.  We have eggs everywhere again.  The hens are able to roam around outside a bit again.  Unfortunately, it appears that there was some bullying going on in the coop during the cold months.  There's a few naked necks out there, that I hope will regrow some feathers with some space.

I've been able to spend longer lengths of time outside going on walks and working with Missy.  I'm just loving this air.  I got some new mud boots.

It looks as though this big winter storm that was supposed to hit us today might have steered north.  I've been so worried about driving through a blizzard to pick up our chicks that are due to arrive at the store between 11am-1pm..  We may still get some sleet.  I may just send Knut.  We'll be watching the weather closely.

Ingrid was screaming last night around 1am.  We could never figure out why.  I nursed her, changed her diaper, gave her medicine for teeth.  She still screamed.  It took forever to get her back to sleep.  In the end I was so frustrated I had to leave her there in the crib and walk away.  I tagged Knut in, and he went to get her, and ended up getting her to sleep a few minutes later.  Usually that plays out the other way around.  It was one of those nights when I'm in awe of how single parents do it.

Also, I feel obligated to say every Monday morning how thankful I am for coffee.

I'm blessed.

Tools

I recently had a birthday, and Knut's mom got me some double pointed bone needles that were on my wish list.  These things are seriously beautiful.

So as I was stroking them this morning, as one would stroke yarn, (of course) I showed Silje my beautiful new needles.

Me: "Aren't they just amazing?  They're bone needles."

Silje: "Mom, that's sort of creepy."

Me: "No it's not!  It's not like they're human bones.  They're animal bones.  They're just beautifully carved!"

Silje: "They better not be from an endangered animal."  [enter in all of the hatred of what the ivory industry did to elephants in Africa]

Me: "Oh no.  These are from water buffalo in India.  This is like not letting any of the animal go to waste, and using ever piece.  Like the Native Americans used to do."

Silje: "Ok.  Then it's okay.  I don't think the Native Americans made knitting needles with their buffalo, though."

Me: "That we know of..." ;)

Silje: "You're weird, Mom."

Me: "I know."

Silje: "I like your needles."

Me: "Thank you.  Me too."

(Needles can be found at the Fringe Supply Co.  Really everything at that store is candy for a knitter.  This is not a sponsored post.)

Making Adjustments

It is still cold, but warm enough that we now take big deep breaths when we go outside, not the shallow  gulps we take in winter, as though we could keep the cold out of our lungs if we didn't inhale.  Spring finally feels inevitable.  We hear birds outside again, and see flocks soaring overhead often.

David has over a dozen oak trees now poking up out of soil.  I think some of them need some work as they don't have enough soil in them.  We may pick up some deeper paper cups for the ones that made it this far.

Ingrid has been really clingy ever since our trip.  For awhile she only went to sleep when I held her hand, and then I had to manage to sneak away without her noticing.  I discovered a few babies ago that if I remove my hand a little bit when the baby exhales, it is less noticeable to them.  Ingrid has been liking this little flannel "monster" that her Aunt Kristin made her for her first birthday.  Ingrid doesn't like when I sneak away.  So I've been giving her the monster to cling to instead of my hand, and she's been happy with that swap.  After 3 days of sneaking, I finally got her to the point again of being laid down awake and not crying.  She feels secure again.  Life is good.

It's funny that with my first child, I would have never stood over the crib and held her hand.  I wouldn't have let her sleep in my arms.  She was so scheduled, and our lives were so predictable and stiff.  We both found comfort in that.

However, something happens when naps are non-negotiable because she won't get one tomorrow during homeschool group for the older kids, or the day before during choir practice.  She can't cry at night because it's not just her and me that looses sleep, it's 4 other kids who desperately need it.  If she cries, others will join her.  So extreme lengths are taken to keep the evening quiet.

So Solveig was swaddled until she was 2 because that's what got her to sleep.  There was no weaning off the swaddle.  She decided herself not to be swaddled sometime after she turned 2.  Solveig sleeps with about 5 baby dolls, and Ingrid sleeps with her monster when their older siblings were never allowed to sleep with toys.

I started potty training my first child when she was 15 months, because I was told that's what you do.  Solveig turned 3 last December, and we're just starting to work on it now.  Not only that, but I don't have unlimited amount of time to sit there and talk her into going potty.  I literally moved the potty chair in front of the little t.v. in the den, and let her sit and watch t.v. on in until she goes.  I haven't figured out how to get her to go in the potty chair yet.  We've tried a few months ago, and she just repeatedly peed on the floor and didn't care.  Yesterday it took her 3 hours, but she ended up going once.  That will do for now.  Today we're running around again, but tomorrow when we work on it again, at least she'll have a frame of reference.

It's what you do with the 4th child.

It's not out of desperation.  It's not for survival.  It's just normal, everyday adjustments in a family with 5 kids.  This is us rockin' it.  Getting it done.  That's the beautiful part of "large" families.  I get humbled, and receive clarity.  Letting go of what does not matter, and embracing what does.

My favorite part of Solveig sitting on that potty chair so long yesterday, was that I sat by her when I could, but she was there for so long that at one point I had to leave her there and put Ingrid down for a little nap.  I was gone for about 5-10 minutes.  When I got back, Silje and David were each holding one of her hands, since she was shaking she had to go so bad after 2 hours of drinking water but she was nervous without her diaper.  They were comforting her and taking turns telling her how proud of her they were that she was brave enough to sit on the potty.

That is the beautiful part of large families.  You just jump in and encourage when you see someone needs it.  I don't just have two hands to serve anymore.  I have 12 hands.  It's a beautiful thing.  They don't see the need all the time, but they see it more often than they used to.  My sweet Silje has begun her volunteering job at the nursing home, delivering newspapers and reading to one of the residents.  We planned on her being there about an hour and a half once a week.  She's loving it so much, she's begging me to give her another hour every week.  She said there's just so much to be done, it hurts to leave.  She talks my head off about it.  Her choir ends next week for the season, so perhaps we can make that happen.  We'll just keep adjusting.  Life is moving from a set of rules to a set of discussions.  I used to snub that as permissive parenting.  Now I see it's how the kids learn the process of choosing what is important, and what is not.  Well, never say never.

Yarn Along

I feel a little awkward writing about this book today, since I know the author reads this blog.  Still, it's what I'm reading these days, and I can't seem to put it down.  In the spirit of this book, I will write about my thoughts on it through memoir.

I met Sharon when I was still in high school.  I'm not sure if we went out for coffee then, or if it was when I was 19 and working at my old high school when we stayed chatting after church for so long.   Eventually one of us suggested going out to coffee sometime.

Back then, the only place in our little town for coffee was at Perkins.  I didn't drink coffee back then, but I could take a piece of pie.  Sharon and I had an instant connection even though she was older than my mom, though younger than my grandma.  Part of it was I was dating Knut back then, whom she had watched grow up in their little church.  She wanted to know more about me, either out of sheer curiosity or out of protection of this little grown up boy whom she felt she should look after.

It was then that she started asking questions about my family, and about my faith.  It's a story that cannot be told without mentioning my maternal grandfather.  When she found out who he was, her jaw dropped.  My grandparents were missionaries in Japan for many years, where my mother was born.  Sharon had known them before they were missionaries.  Back when he was a pastor in Williston, North Dakota, (now a boom-town) and she stood on the train platform singing "God Be With You 'Till We Meet Again" or something like that until the train was gone from sight.  (Which in North Dakota...can be a very long time!  Sorry, I couldn't resist throwing in a North Dakota joke.  Hardy har har...)

Sharon is one of those people who says exactly what is on her mind, and compels you to do the same.  She's one of those rare gems who knows exactly what she's about, and she's not ashamed of a bit of it.  Seminarians wouldn't dare getting into a theological battle with her because she knows her Bible, and could debate circles around them should she desire.

Sharon took me under her wing in many ways.  I still don't know if she understands how much that meant to me.  She began praying for Knut and I, and let us know about it all the time.  We dated for a few years, and I remember the winter before we were engaged, we broke up.  We weren't that on again, off again sort of couple.  The single problem we had was that I had never dated anyone else before, and neither had he.  I didn't see that as a problem, and he did.  We were each other's first everything, and as the conversation turned to marriage, Knut began to wonder if he thought this was love because he had nothing to compare it to.

Well, I thought that was stupid.  He couldn't seem to drop it, though.  At the time I was working at our old high school and taking college by correspondence, and he was going to college about 3 hours away.  I finally told him that if he was so eager to find a love out there to make comparisons, then go right on ahead.  I cut him loose, and said have fun.  I was devastated for sure, and from the daily long distance calls I got from Knut during those 2 weeks we were broken up, just to make sure I was okay, I could tell he was upset too.

The worst part about the whole stupid break up was that I was the one who had to tell Sharon.  I still remember having to tell her at church.  She was standing next to the piano where she usually played, and I told her what happened and she began to cry.  So I started to cry.  She hugged me tight and through anger and hurt called out this was not how it was supposed to happen.  I rubbed her back and told her I'm sure it was all going to work out in the end, even though I wasn't sure at all.

I called Knut directly after church and told him this whole break up was his fault, and it was wrong of him to make me have to be the one to tell Sharon.  I still remember him in all seriousness saying, "Oh no.  I'm so sorry I did that.  Is she okay?"  He knew, like I knew, how heartbroken she would be at us ending our relationship.

Well, Knut did end up coming back to me after our 2 week separation, where he never did end up dating anyone else.  We ended up getting married.  When we had our first child, Sharon and her amazing husband Grant became Silje's sponsors at her baptism, alongside my sister and her husband.  When we moved out to the farm, they became our neighbors.  When we got Lena, Grant and Sharon were her first dog-sitters.  I remember the first time Lena spent a week or so over at Grant and Sharon's while we went to visit my family, Lena came home complete with a puppy journal, telling us all the things she did every day.

It was with much heartbreak, that we allowed Grant and Sharon to move back to Oregon to be with their adult sons a few years ago.  Living out in the country takes a lot of work, and they wanted to be near family as they grew older.  Before they left, though, this hymn singing, church pianist with a strong alto voice offered Silje her piano...the piano her father gave her when she was a little girl.  The piano that she learned to play on, and the piano she had spent playing as a means of worship at every day since she was Silje's age.

I was so moved when she gave us this great gift.  Silje started piano lessons immediately.  It's sound was a comfort when we missed our friends who had moved away.

Then we heard that Grant was sick, and that there was no hope of being well again.  He had very little time left.  Even so, his passing was a shock and surprise to us all.  We didn't think it would be that quick.  Sharon came back here not long ago, so that Grant could be buried back here with his parents.  It was very hard to say goodbye to Grant, but it was harder to see Sharon so sad.

In typical Sharon fashion, she was taking on grief straight on without blinking.  She does not hide her emotions from God, no matter what the emotions might be.  She seeks after truth, because as she told me: "Comfort is the shadow of the tree called 'Truth.'"  She just made that up in our conversation.  (I hope I quoted that correctly!)  I'm telling you, this woman is brilliant with words.  She doesn't seek comfort, she seeks the truth because that's where comfort is found.  She seeks God, and wants to know what he says about all of this, no matter what the answer might be.

The funeral was in the morning, and the afternoon was quiet.  In the evening, Sharon came over to our house to hear Silje play some hymns for her on the old piano that she had practiced just for this occasion.  Then Sharon offered to play for us.  We got out the hymn books and we all picked some favorites as the kids climbed up on laps and attempted to sing along.  I was particularly moved by the song Sharon picked:

Thanks to God for my Redeemer, Thanks for all Thou dost provide!
Thanks for times now but a memory, Thanks for Jesus by my side!
Thanks for pleasant, balmy springtime, Thanks for dark and dreary fall!
Thanks for tears by now forgotten, Thanks for peace within my soul!

Thanks for prayers that Thou hast answered, Thanks for what Thou dost deny!
Thanks for storms that I have weathered, Thanks for all Thou dost supply!
Thanks for pain and thanks for pleasure, Thanks for comfort in despair!
Thanks for grace that none can measure, Thanks for love beyond compare!

Thanks for roses by the wayside, Thanks for thorns their stems contain!
Thanks for home, and thanks for fireside, Thanks for hope, that sweet refrain!
Thanks for joy and thanks for sorrow, Thanks for heav'nly peace with Thee!
Thanks for hope in the tomorrow, Thanks thru all eternity!


Before she left our home, she handed me this book, Mailboxes and Old Barns and told me that she had written it, and wanted me to have it.  I had no idea.

This last week I have picked up this book and started to read it.  Slowly.  Carefully.  I hear Sharon's voice when I read it, and I feel like she's right next to me.  I savor that.  I miss her as she has gone back to Oregon.  Knut and I scheme ways to kidnap and bring get her back.  This is the history of her family, which may sound ordinary enough.  What is so extraordinary about it was the details that she remembers, and the storytelling that reminds me of my own grandpa telling me about the way it used to be.  This isn't just a story about people.  It's about love, honor, duty, respect, childhood, and of course, the land.

Sharon may have written down her story, but I feel as though it is so intertwined with my story as well. I feel as fascinated reading this as I do reading historical diaries, or memoirs which I also love.  Stories like this are a beautiful, beautiful gift.  You can't just say what happened, though as so many "amateur" writers do, you have to paint a picture of what happened.  Sharon does this as a seasoned pro.

I want to say this not as her friend, but as the woman who got her college degree in English Literature: This is a fabulous book.  I will read it several times.  I feel like it's this treasure that no one else knows about.  It should be read.  It should be savored.

Linking up with Ginny's Yarn Along.

Getaway

Silje and I took a little weekend trip this last week.  It was the one last getaway off the farm before spring planting starts.  We drove some hours to the Mall of America in the Twin Cities, and there we went to the American Girl store, and the the crowning activity: the gorgeous aquarium they have in the basement of the mall.

I haven't ever done any trip like this before.  I've never just singled out one of my kids for a treat this massive.  It's something we were planning to do, though, since she was a little baby.  Silje is turning 10 shortly, and is one smart girl.  I guess I think of all of my kids as "kids" but Silje is shortly a pre-teen.  I didn't put much stock in it, or even think of it until I started seeing the bigger mood swings in her, and seeing her searching for sleep more often, and start getting so tall.  She's still such a baby in my eyes, but I want to be careful not to treat her as such.  Also, I don't want to treat her like a grown up when she is still so much a child, even though she has such an old soul.  Talking with friends of mine with teenagers, I asked them if I was seeing things.  Could all of this really be starting this young?  My friends gave me a resounding "yes!"

This awful balancing act of give and take, withholding, pushing forward... I'm told is only going to get harder, and only going to get worse before it gets better.  I'm determined to make the most of it.  I'm determined to give a lot of grace, because I know that personally, I will mess up a lot and will need it as thickly as she will.  We want to do a trip like this for each of our kids when we start to see the pre-teen attitudes emerge, and we can have lots of long talks about emotions, dating/courting, responsibility,  independence, authority, and basically together coming up with a mutual agreeable plan in which we keep communication open, and conversations common.

We spent a lot of time talking, but mostly we just had fun together.  She's been craving that so much.  We did some shopping, ate out a lot, and visited as many animals as we could.  It totally filled her cup.

I was so proud of my girl as she took me around the aquarium, explaining to me the names of all of the species, and interesting facts about each one.  For instance, in sea horses, the mom give all the eggs to the dad, and he carries all the eggs "to term" in his pouch.  As I've stated before, she reads an insane amount of biology books, and marine biology is one of her favorite kinds of biology.  She told me how rays and starfish eat, and why the sharks were behaving as they do.

We got there about way before they even opened, and I think they may have let us in early because we had the place nearly to ourselves for a good 30 minutes.  That was really neat.

We signed up ahead of time for a behind the scenes tour, for which I wasn't allowed to bring my camera along.  It was just amazing.  We saw the "time out tank" where animals that are bullying other animals or humans are put for a month or two.  There was a giant sea turtle in there at the time, thinking about his behavior.  We do the same thing with our chickens when they misbehave.

We got to see the prep kitchen where all of the animals' food is prepared, and the big wall chart with the names of each animal, showing which animal gets which food and how much each day.  When the tour guide asked the people on the tour to guess what they fed the jellyfish, Silje raised her hand and guessed a certain species of plankton.  The tour guide said, "Good guess, but try again."  So Silje raised her hand again and named off some other species of plankton.  (I say other species, because I couldn't even name you one species of plankton to even write here.)  The tour guide said, "No, but those are great guesses, and I can't believe you actually know the names of all of those species!"

It was at that point that I realized I'm raising Hermoine from Harry Potter.

(For those wondering, the aquarium grows "sea monkeys" to feed to the jellyfish.)

The weekend was not without meltdowns as the big mall is full of repeated "No." answers from me to her.  There is so much to do there, so I felt as though I said "no" the whole first day, over and over again.  That was really hard.  We had talked about a loose schedule and basic expectations for the trip before we left, but she hadn't prepared for all the overwhelming options once we got there.

Since I grew up in Denver, then Phoenix, and lived for a time in Chicago and Minneapolis as an adult, big cities and big malls like this don't intimidate me.  I did notice for the first time that while I'm a city girl, my kids are country kids.  Silje couldn't get enough of the escalators.  She wanted to go on every escalator in the mall, and I'm pretty sure she would have been happy if we did that all day.

On realizing that she was so unfamiliar with the city, I took the opportunity to teach her some basic self defense moves, and practical suggestions for if she ever went to college in a big city.  For instance, always have your keys in your hand when going out to a parking lot.  Don't get to your car and start searching your purse.  That way you have your panic button handy, and the keys make a great weapon if needed as well.  She thought that was pretty funny.  That brought her mind to the idea that should we ever get a black kitten on the farm, she wanted to name him "Ninja."

She also wanted to chop off her long, nearly waist length hair for the second time in her life.  I got a haircut too.  My hairstylist made Silje laugh out loud a few times.  He was a pretty flamboyant fellow, and super nice.  He had tattoos all over, colored hair, and ear holes stretched out large.  He was really funny.  Silje's hairstylist was this Barbie-doll look alike, with platinum curls and gave Silje some great tips for dealing with her thick hair, and made some suggestions to alter Silje's cut out picture of what she wanted her hair to look like.  Explaining that Silje's hair is so thick, and has a strong wave, she talked Silje into keeping her hair at least shoulder length (Silje was thinking more of a short bob), and she added some nice layers as well as thinned it a bunch.  It's gorgeous.  I just haven't caught a picture of it yet.  (Sorry, Mom!)  Silje is very pleased with the result.

My hairstylist asked Silje where she went to school, and she explained she was homeschooled.  He gave a typical response, "I think I really would have liked being homeschooled.  I'm all for it in many respects."  Then he turned to me, "But don't you worry about her not having any friends, or being a little weird?"  That's when Silje laughed out loud.  "Um...I have friends! [mom's note: she obviously has ears too!] You can find friends in lots of other places besides school."  None of us mentioned the irony of a so obviously counter-culterual soul doing his own thing, worried about our counter-culteral lifestyle or her turning out "weird."  I hope she didn't make him feel too bad.  She got quite the kick out of that.

Ingrid did a terrible job for Knut at home.  Neither of them got much good sleep over the weekend.  She got a runny-nose cold and just wanted Mommy.  Both of them were very eager for Silje and I to get back.  Ingrid doesn't like me getting out of her sight now, and has started getting really clingy when she's tired.

All of us (besides Knut of course) still see the chiropractor monthly due to our car accident last summer.  Our appointment was yesterday and all the kids were pretty stiff for it.  I've noticed that all of us start falling apart the last few days before an appointment, from migraines, sleeplessness, constipation, or just aches all over.  So I know we still aren't fully well.  Monthly appointments are manageable, though, so I'm thankful for that.  It was probably not good judgment to leave Knut with Ingrid the tough last few days before her adjustment, which are the worst, but they made it.  We're all feeling better now, and will hopefully be able to rest better soon.

It was a trip that I hope both of us will remember forever.

So You're Thinking About Homeschooling

Public Service Announcement: 
This is a longer than usual post.  Sorry about that.  Several friends have asked me to write it so I did, and I couldn't manage to cut anything out.  It's all so important.  If this topic does not interest you, feel free to skip.  It won't bother me at all.  (I won't even know.)  Just scroll down the page and look at the fun pictures from previous posts, feel refreshed, and go on with your day.  Thank you for stopping by!  Of course I'm not saying you can't read this post, but certainly don't feel obligated to read my rambling.)


It's happened to me a few dozen times.  Perhaps more.

Say a good friend of mine has a 4 or 5 year old child.  Or maybe all of her kids are older and in a traditional school.  It's said in passing, or intentionally:

"You know, I'm really thinking about homeschooling, but I don't know where to start."
"I feel like God is calling me to homeschool, but I'm so overwhelmed by the thought."
"We've decided to start homeschooling next year, and I'm so nervous."

I love having these conversations with people, and I don't want people to stop talking to me about it.  It's just when they do ask me, I'm not always available to give a full answer.  Sometimes I start answering and then I have to deal with a child stuck in a tree.  It's just the way it goes.  So I thought I'd write out my heart on the matter here, in case I get cut off in one of these conversations in the future, and I have some place to point that current dear friend asking me these questions.

For those whose children are not in school:

This is a scary place to start, most especially if you were not homeschooled yourself.  This is also the easiest place to start, and I would recommend starting here.  When starting here, you don't have to "de-school" your kids.  You can start with good habits, good systems, and not have to waste as much time.  That said, it is the scariest place to start for a few reasons.

1) You don't have much frame of reference of what the alternative is.

School isn't the same as when we were kids.  It's changed.  It's changed a lot.  The only frame of reference you have, is likely decades old.  I hate to break that to you.

You see, my oldest went to "regular" school and it took her some time to get new habits.  Not that she had learned bad habits at school, but she had learned school habits.  At home, school habits don't do any good, in fact they often hinder home learning.  You need home habits.  It was a big gear shift for her, and I would say took 2 years to de-school from her 1 year of kindergarten.

That said, I going through that school year, with the ups and downs of it, I was solidified in my desire to homeschool.  I knew why I want to do it.  I know what the alternative is, and it makes me want to homeschool more.  I'm not saying that's a good thing either.  I think, probably the worst reason to homeschool is hatred of all the other schools, though that's where many people start.  That makes it homeschooling by default.  I like to think of choosing homeschool by design.

(The best reason would be that you feel called by God to do it, as if he is the one designing this plan.)

2) Your child is a toddler.

This might be the scariest reason part of thinking of homeschooling.  Your child is 3 or 4.  He throws fits, he's loud, he's stubborn.  Lord, do I really have to keep him home?  I seriously need a break!  This will not, cannot work long term!

Let me assure you, that your 3 year old will not always be 3, and homeschooling your children is not as hard as dealing with toddlers.  Some moms thrive at that age.  I do not.  I personally LOVE the school-age.  At that point, I'm just starting to enjoy my kids the most I have ever enjoyed them, and the idea of handing them off for someone else to enjoy is hard.  They are so full of questions, so capable, so funny, etc.  I actually tell mothers of 3 year olds to put the idea of homeschooling out of their mind for at least 2 more years.  Otherwise the idea of "I can't do it" grows too large.

For those who are taking their kids out of traditional school:

De-schooling is hard.  It might even be harder when your child was not totally on board with that decision, as was our case.  The biggest aspect of de-schooling is learning to live with free time.  Logistically, free time is not the friend of a teacher managing 30 kids.  The kids there all need a job or things fall apart quickly.  So they are constantly told what they should be doing with a lot of structure.

This is just my own opinion, but I think this is a big reason why so many 18 year olds have no idea what to do with their lives.  Their days are filled to the brim and overflowing with activities and homework, and people telling them what to do, and what to learn, and how to think.  Very little time is given to just wondering, just developing their own thoughts, and their own purpose.  Then they reach 18 and all of a sudden have to figure out what they do like, what they do know, what they need to know on their own, how to get what they want, and what on earth is their purpose and what do they have to offer?  The very idea that someone needs to take some years off to "find themselves" is a new concept in our civilization.  Back in the day, kids knew who they were and what they were about years earlier.  They aren't given much time to process those things in our modern, fast-paced era of helicopter parents, helicopter teachers, helicopter opinionated internet/google-earth world.

In the beginning of de-schooling, there is a lot of complaining about boredom.  It's like their brain is detoxing from the busy-ness.  They have to relearn daydreaming, and relearn making up games, and relearn the skill of wondering.  You must allow them to be bored.  You cannot give into their pleas to play video games all day long, and maybe even give them a vague list of ideas of what they could do when they are not studying.  Everything on the list may look boring to them.  That's okay.  When you are starting a new diet of vegetables, it's not always fun.  But it doesn't take long to start feeling really good on that vegi diet, and losing that excess baggage.  Resist the urge to fill their days to the brim again.  Start out with the detox period, and slowly start adding things that they are interested in, and have shown that they've put some thought into it.  Don't worry, their days will be full again in no time!

Here are some suggestions for all of that free time your child is stuck with:
play outside
draw
draw outside
read (good books)
read outside
ride your bike
volunteer at a nursing home
build something with wood
plant a garden
learn to knit
learn to sew
learn what every tool in the toolbox does
train your dog
build a fort
read to a sibling
pick out an experiment from a science book
bake some cookies

If they hate my list, I give them an alternative one:
do the dishes
fold some laundry
mop the floor
wipe down the bathroom
vacuum

They normally pick something from the first list, begrudgingly at first.  Learning to deal with free time is sometimes hard, but it's always rewarding.  I'm told (and I'm hoping it's true) that this helps with the common "I don't know what to do with my life" syndrome of college aged people these days.  I want to raise kids who are passionate about their God and passionate about serving their world.  I don't want them wasting time thinking about what the world has to offer them, and bring to them when they graduate from our school.


For everyone thinking of homeschooling:

I know I can say put it out of your mind and just enjoy your little ones, but I know many are like me, and research everything to death in preparation.  So here's where you start: Educating the WholeHearted Child by the Clarksons is a great book to pick up.  We started reading The Well-Trained Mind and loved that as well, although our homeschool ended up looking more like the Clarkson's descriptions.  We do a lot of classical style education, though, and really liked that book.

Plan to make preschool all about play.  Plan about 30 minutes of instruction a day for a kindergartner.  That's the thing that most of my friends are most shocked by.  They want to homeschool, but don't think they could pull it off all day, every day.  It's not an all day thing at that age.  It's half of an hour.  You don't even need to make it crafty.  My version of preparing crafts is setting out blank paper and a box of crayons and saying "have at it."

There's some great podcasts out there on how to teach multiple ages of kids at the same time.  Sonlight has a bunch of free ones that I highly recommend.  I think I listened to each one 10 times when I was preparing to homeschool.  They lay it out much better than I could and have some good advice for starting out as well.  (Though they are promoting their product as well, they do give a lot of advice and I can vouch for their product.)  Lots of people just buy a curriculum set each year, but most people I know start out with a curriculum, and start going eclectic in their curriculum choices as the kids get older and you start figuring out what you like and don't like as a family.

Plan to remove distractions.  Homeschoolers finish their work faster than traditional schools, which is great...unless they use all that extra time to sit in front of the t.v. which will be a huge temptation.  "But I'm done with school, why can't I play my PlayStation?" (says child at 11am.)  And you know if you say yes, they'll be sitting their playing until 5pm.

Here's what we do (besides the list given above): we read a lot of books at that kindergarten age, do some writing practice, do some math practice, maybe some phonics stuff when they show interest in that sort of thing.  Then when my "to do" list for their school day is done, they still are in "school hours" until 3pm.  However, what they do until then is their choice as long as it fits 3 main subjects:

1. Something that develops a skill
2. Something that develops knowledge
3. Something that develops character

Want to play with Legos?  I think that develops a skill.  It's motor skills as well as design, figuring out how things fit, and great imagination.  Want to read books about rabbits?  That develops knowledge.  Want to volunteer somewhere?  That's developing character.  Want to ride your bike?  That's a great skill to have.  Want to work on the 10th level of Donkey Kong?  Sorry, Charlie.  I don't consider that a skill.  The first part of the day they work on what I think they need to know (math, grammar, reading, etc.) After that is done, it's self school.  They work on their interests.

This looks different at different ages.  David spends about an hour or two in school now (which involves reading books I choose for him, and discussing them, copy work for handwriting and editing, spelling, Saxon math, and some history/social studies on some days), and then he has his open learning time.  Silje has 3-4 hours of school, so she doesn't get to her own time until after lunch usually.  I have her do reading books I've picked out, writing assignments, history reading, Saxon math (though we may switch math programs down the line) spelling, and sometimes Latin.  Elias is still preschool age, so we only work on school stuff when he's in the mood.  I'm pretty firm in my belief that preschoolers need to be playing as much as they can.  He can already read 3 letter words fairly well, though, and shows a lot of interest in math problems.  He also draws more than my other kids did at that age.

The funny part about this to Knut and I is that our kids do 90% of their learning during this free learning time.  It's actually quite humbling.  I work very carefully to get them a good curriculum, and make sure they're getting deep stuff.  But the stuff that sticks?  The stuff they remember?  The stuff they tell stories about?  That's normally from their own free learning time.  I wish I could say they learn the most from me, but it's just not true.  They learn way more on their own.  I selfishly wish my version of school was  their favorite.

Silje's "after school" time as they call it, usually involves studying biology, reading any books, most especially on all kinds of animals (she has read all of them in the children's section of the library and is now starting to read through the adult section of animal books at the library), as well as reading fiction, being with live animals, doing crafts, working her way through her art techniques book, playing piano, and lately, volunteering at a local nursing home.  She fills her free time with so much science and art, and is actually better at both of those than I am, so I'm just basically her supplier and getter-of-experts for her in those subjects.

David's "after school" time usually involves building something, being outside building something, racing something, climbing something, and lately, reading something.  Yes, he's beginning to choose to read during this time.  He also likes working with electrical sets, Legos, magnets, trains, and all things chess and logic.  Also, I'll link again to his tree project.  Lately, he's really gotten into math, and does 3-4 extra pages a day just for fun.  He's sort of weird like his dad that way.  They each have their strengths and my goal is to just let them soar in their strengths as much as they can, and bring up the rear with the subjects with which they struggle.

We've also started branching out and doing some formal curriculum things during non-school times.  That way the kids don't think of it as school.  I do the deep, classic read aloud books with the older kids once the little kids have gone to bed at night.  They love being singled out to read with me, and the little kids look forward to it with all their might.  They're eager to prove that they can sit and listen, and stay up late, that I can read nearly any classic novel and they'll listen with interest.  I haven't told them that's school, yet, so shhhh....

For the little kids, I get some good literature in them during our tea times in the morning.  Again, it doesn't look like "regular" school, but if I wanted them to go to regular school, I'd send them to one.  We're doing things differently, so it's okay to do things that are different.

P.S. This plan does backfire when friends and family ask the kids how school is going, and they reply: "We didn't do school today" or "We don't go to school" or "What's school?"  You can put your hand over their mouths and sigh and try to fumble some sort of response that you don't tell the kids that what they are doing is school, because then they feel they must complain.  So they did a lot of learning, and would be happy to tell about what they have been learning/doing that day.

Curricula

Look at different curricula, but know that it can be done on the cheap.  I started out with a box set, and I loved it.  We picked Sonlight and didn't regret a moment of it.  My favorite thing about them was their amazing book list, and the fact that I just had to buy that "year" one time and I could use it for all 5 of my kids.  It was more money up front, but saves a ton in the long run.  We're trying out My Father's World curriculum this year and are liking it too, though we don't get as many books with that program.  Some people just take the recommended list from Well Trained Mind and check out most of their curriculum from the library, though I'll admit, it's a heavy list.

There is so much out there, but the thing to keep in mind is that there isn't one "best" curriculum.  Think about how you parent, and find a curriculum/style that matches up the most with that.  Pick one that excites your family.  You can pick a curriculum full of cutting out, crafting activities, but if that's not your style, you won't do it.  You'll stare at it and be filled with guilt and think about all day long what a horrible homeschooling mom you are.  If you read to your kids bunches, pick a literature based program, because you will actually do it.

Start out with bare bones, and fill in the blanks with things that interest your child.  Silje is now at the age where, if I'm debating between 2 programs, I'll let her be the tie breaker.  She loves helping me pick.  In fact, I don't like doing kids/paper/cutting crafts, but she does.  She is now at the age where I can get the craft stuff, and she'll just do it herself.  That may sound lazy of me, (and it is) but neither one of us mind where we're at and it's working for us.  David, on the other hand, still needs a lot of hand holding.  Also getting him to do little educational crafts is like pulling teeth.  He'd much rather just read a book and have a conversation about it.  Elias is just excited to be doing anything.  If you haven't noticed, I'm learning right alongside my kids a lot of these things.

That's okay.  That's actually normal.

A great place to see a bunch of curricula side by side is a homeschool convention.  If you can't make one, then order a bunch of catalogs, and make a night of it. There's not very many bad choices out there.  So you're going to have to try really, really hard to pick a wrong one.  Worst case scenario is you buy something you don't need or use.  That's why I like to purchase as many things as I can that are non-consumable.  Then ebay is my friend.  Some companies have a preview period where you can order their stuff and return it if it doesn't fit.  There are many, many ways to do it nearly free.  I won't go into depth on that here, but it involves a sturdy library card, and a bit of leg work.  We use the library some, but I really like having the books available to our kids all the time, and because of our location in the country, we sometimes don't make it into town to the library for a month or so.  School can't stop indefinately because of the weather.  We have a great used book store in our little town that I find books at, and I have purchased things on Amazon, ebay, though sometimes I bite the bullet and pay full price as well.

Co-ops

There are a bunch of types of co-ops out there.  Homeschooling groups come in all shapes, sizes, and expenses, just like schools.  You can avoid them altogether if you want.  Some only do field trips, some do a structured school once a week.

Here's the thing you want to look for: moms you can see yourself hanging out with.

Find a group where the moms are real, and encouraging.  Moms that can be your safe place to voice your frustrations and struggles and have real, honest advice and encouragement to give you.  The co-op shouldn't be burdensome.  It should be burden lifting.  That doesn't mean you shouldn't roll up your sleeves and lend a hand and do your part.  Your family will get more out of it if you are all involved.  Just know there are lots of groups out there, and it's okay to "shop around."

The important thing is that you and your kids find a "safe place" to do your thing.  Homeschooling is a controversial thing, and you will hear it from your friends and relatives.  They'll tell you all about their doubts about what you are doing, things you shouldn't do.  You'll hear horror stories, or worries, and sometimes you'll just hear silence on the subject completely, like they would rather pretend you didn't homeschool at all.  You need a safe place to talk about the hard stuff with people who are in the trenches with you, or at least a group of women who have graduated their own homeschool students, otherwise you'll be surrounded by naysayers in your time of need.

Other Thoughts

More can be said about why one would homeschool.

There are so many pros:

good academics
time to do activities/sports/volunteer without missing out on family time
character training
discipleship
socializing with multiple age groups
...I could go on.

Some of the biggest reservations about homeschooling is socialization, which is the butt of every joke in the homeschooling crowd.  It is simply false that homeschool kids socialize less, or have less socialization skills.  Sure, some aren't the best at it, but the same could be said about public school kids. I knew some weird kids there too.  Weird kids somehow end up in all types of schooling.  Sometimes parents know their kids are weird, and keep them at home so that they won't be bullied and they can develop to the fullest extent of their weirdness unhindered.  Big studies have been done on the subject, and homeschoolers always come out on top.  The socialization argument is pure myth.

My kids have non-Christian friends and hang out with people of all ages.  Silje just made friends with an elderly lady the other day.  She loves playing cards with her.  I just love that.  She has friends her own age too, and actually gets invited to birthday parties, and has a really, really tough time narrowing down her invitation list for her own parties to a size I can handle.  Socialization is not a concern, and I don't do anything special for that.

The other concern is that they may miss prom, and dances, and always feel left out.  So here's my thoughts on that.  First, I hated all my dances.  So there.  Second, if you want to find a way to make that happen because it's so important to you, you can.  Third, you have to get over the fact that your child will not have the same exact experiences as you did growing up, regardless of where they go to school.  Go ahead and fully mourn that.  They are living in a different world.  They're living in a world of texting and internet and iPads and cell phones and learning about sex in 2nd grade, and IEPs , etc, etc, etc.  Your child will not have all the things you had.  That's okay.

God has a totally different life planned out for your child than he did for you.  Think about that.  So the question ultimately boils down to: what is God calling your family to do?  Is it public school?  Do it whole heartedly, has hard as it may be.  Is it private school?  Then do it wholeheartedly, as hard as it may be.  Is it homeschooling?  Then do it wholeheartedly, as hard as it may be.  The fact of the matter is, we need to follow God's leading, and not make our decisions based off of fear.  Is fear holding you back from something?  I think most moms know in their gut what they need to do, but that gut instinct and deep fear sometimes like to mix together, and that's when it gets hard.

As far as the homeschooling cons?  I'd be lying if I said there weren't any.

Do I get sick of my kids?  Sometimes.  We have far more good times than bad, though.  I mean waaaay more good times.  It's incomparable.  I still get mad at them.  I haven't magically become perfect.  I don't know of any perfect teacher, though, in any school.  I don't have a lot of patience, but homeschooling has developed more of that in me.  They say patience is a muscle...it grows with use.

It's sometimes frustrating when there is a battle of the wills.  That isn't anything new, though.  I experienced that with them before I started homeschooling.  It's just a continuation of that discipleship, not a brand new problem.  If you survived your kids being at home when they are little, you'll survive them at home when they are older.  It's one thing to know what you're getting into, and counting the cost.  It's another to worry about the next 12 years all in one week, and try to take in the magnitude of it at once.  Just like anything else, you get through one day at a time.  I will say, the longer I have homeschooled, the more I enjoy it.  I would say that same thing about mothering in general.  You learn the practice of joy.

There is a financial cost, though like all things it can be as much or as little as you like.  I'm lucky in the fact that my budget for our whole family when we started was about $300-400/year per student.  (We added on a Chinese program that first year as well that will likely last us forever...)  In the homeschooling world, that's pretty high.  We wanted to invest in a curriculum that could be used down the line of all of our kids, though.  In the end, I believe it will pay off.  This next year, it will be closer to $500 for the whole family just because I've gotten some good deals and have bought used things, and as we have gotten involved in our homeschooling community, people pass things down.  I know many families who do it for $200-300/year put together, though they do a lot of legwork to make that happen.  When your kids are in preschool, kindergarten, though, I've only spent about $10 for a used version of a phonics program and then I just read to them as often as I can.  That costs nothing.

Did I have to give up my interests to stay at home longer-term?  Again, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't.  Sure, I still have my knitting design business.  Knut is really good about getting me an outlet outside the kids.  I have a very supportive spouse.  We both make a priority of making sure we are each allowed something in our lives to blow off steam.  My heart does hurt sometimes because I have so many ideas, and I can't ever seem to do them all, and my dreams are just so big.  Delaying them is often hard.

But you know what?  I can design at any age.  I only have my kids now.  Any career I want will be there in 20 years.  My kids won't be here then.  To me, I'm not saying "no" to my dreams, I'm saying "later" to them.  I made a decision, and the only one I felt comfortable making.  You simply cannot have it all, so you must decide what do you want the most.  Again, I'll bring it back to, "What is God leading your family to do?"  Search the Scriptures, and pray a lot.  That's the only solution, and the only opinion that matters.

I hope this post will be a resource for those who are thinking about homeschooling.  For those who are not, wow...thanks for reading to the end of a post about something you have no intention to ever do.  That's actually impressive.  Way to seek to see the world through someone else's eyes.  :)

And now you see why I can't get this all out when someone asks me about homeschooling.  Whew...I could go on.

Final Note: I don't know why, but whenever I post any answers to questions about homeschooling or offer up advice, as nice and non-preachy as I can, it is extremely controversial and mean remarks tend to come out.  Then I hover over the computer and ignore my family, as I delete nasty comments that are not respectful. (I don't mind disagreement, I mind disrespect.)  I can't do that this time.  You know what it's like when you're 9 months pregnant and people come up to you and say the dumbest, most inappropriate things?  Yeah...that's what it's like talking about homeschooling.  Dumb comments just come flying at you without thought.

My oldest daughter and I are off for a one on one mother/daughter weekend starting this morning.  She's been craving some "just mommy" time, and she's turning 10 very soon, and so we thought we'd make this special weekend happen before spring planting started.  We're visiting the American Girl Doll store, exploring a large aquarium, and having lots of talks while painting our toenails in our hotel room.  So I'm not around to moderate comments.  So be nice.  I don't want to come back from our mini vacation with all sorts of mean remarks.  You can all do that, right?  I love having a conversation with my friends, though, and hearing your thoughts or add-ons, so I'll chance leaving the comments on for now.  Think support and encourage!  Not judge and tear down!

Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real

{Pretty}

A spool of twine and a darning egg in my studio's windowsill.  I got the darning egg a few years ago at an antique store as an impulse buy.  Who knows?  Maybe I'll want to darn a sock someday.  So far I've had no such desire, but should I ever be overcome by that desire...I'm ready.

{Happy}

Heavy cream swirling in my coffee in the morning.  I'm not a morning person, but this always makes me smile.  Heavy cream doesn't mix in as well as half and half as it all rises to the top immediately.  I'm okay with that, though.  I will survive.

{Funny}

The farm has a bunch of fields, and many of those fields are edged with trees.  For firewood the last few years, Knut has used the naturally fallen trees behind our house, but last year he started "branching out" to other woods on our property with fallen trees.  He pulled these trees out of the woods, and into a field, but that's when the snow came, and so he left them there all winter.  So last week he thought that enough snow was gone to get these logs out of the field and over to our house before spring planting begins.

For now they're just laying there in the yard, and he's slowly starting to chainsaw through them to start a stack of firewood for next year.  In the meantime, Missy has declared it her favorite place to lounge around.  We've dubbed it her "perch," if an enormous Great Pyrenees dog has ever owned such a word.  Every time we look out she is at the top of this huge log pile, surveying the horizon.  She likes to see everything, and I think this pile makes her feel like she's queen of the mountain.

{Real}

This is the real reason that Knut is so often late for work.  He goes to tie up his boots every morning, and at least one of the kids (most often Solveig or Ingrid) takes that as their cue to get as close to him as they can, lean way into him, and wait for an opportunity to jump into Knut's arms.  He has the worst time getting his boots tied each morning because of this attack he gets every time he leans over.  He complains, but I think he secretly likes it.

"OK, just one book."

"See Mommy?  I always win."

Yarn Along

Sadly, I haven't gotten very far in my knitting this last week.  I don't have a very good reason why besides we've been running everywhere this last week.  (Whoever put the "home" in "homeschool" was l.y.i.n.g.) Also I'm spending more time in books lately, and that's not a bad thing.  I do have several projects going with knitting right now, but I was really hoping to have this "Rhubarb Cardigan" done in time for when the rhubarb is growing.  It's just the perfect spring cardigan (or where we live, the perfect summer cardigan because we're still wearing chunky wool in spring).  It's coming along nicely, though.  Maybe about 4 rows a day, which isn't lightening speed, but still moving along.

I photographed some of the books we're reading in our house.  We are nearly done with The Tale of Despereaux during our morning tea time with all 5 of the kids.  Well, occasionally Ingrid sleeps through it, but since she's only 1, we'll forgive her that.  This book is really, really fun.  It's a great fit for our family with a wide range of ages to read together.  I've never read it before, so I'm really excited as we're approaching the climax.  I want to see how it ends.

The 2 oldest kids and I have been reading out loud The Magician's Nephew at night after the little kids are in bed.  I'll admit, I've only read The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe up until now.  The big kids read it for the first time last fall.  The Magician's Nephew was next on our reading list and it is seriously blowing my mind.  The scene where Aslan is creating a new world through singing?  It took my breath away.  I could barely get through it without crying in awe.  What imagination!  So, so, so beautiful.  Then finding out how the witch actually gets to Narnia?  Finding out how the lamp post gets to Narnia?  Wow.  The kids are loving it too.  Silje is the only one who has read it before because after we finished The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe last year she read ahead a few books.  She's really enjoying watching our jaws drop, and us gasping in revelation.  Plus, you experience a book differently as it is read out loud.

Finally, I'm starting to go through some curriculum options/ideas for my Sunday School class at church next year.  A few friends have recommended this Biblical Holidays book, and it intrigues me.  It goes in depth in studying all the Biblical feasts like Passover, and the Feast of Tabernacles, and Purim, etc.

So what I'm thinking we'll do is spend 3 weeks or so on each feast.  We could spend the first week studying the Bible story behind the feast.  The second week we could celebrate the feast doing traditional games, crafts, and of course food!!  The third week we could look at the symbolism, and study what we learn about the character of God, and fulfillment of prophesy through that holiday.  It's still very, very much in the early stages of planning.  Honestly I've never studied the Biblical feasts before, so I'm intrigued as much for myself as I am for my students.

The book is meant for families, not Sunday School classes, and it's written from a very, very conservative Christian (dare I say legalistic?) perspective of which the reader should be aware.  (For example, in the introduction the author's family doesn't recommend celebrating any modern holidays and only celebrate Biblically ordained ones like the Puritans did.  In fact, I'm pretty sure they think we should do everything the Puritans did.) and so I'm not taking it all at face value, but sifting through for the amazing gems, history, and fun ideas that are the bulk of this book.  Really, there's a lot of treasure in here from recipes to craft ideas, explanation of the Biblical calendar, context of agricultural significance of each holiday, songs, decorations, etc.  I continue to be intrigued, and am pondering several of these ideas.

Linking up with Ginny for her weekly Yarn Along!

Acorns Part 3

Maybe you have been following our acorn adventure, and if not, you can catch up by reading Part 1 here and Part 2 here.  I wasn't sure we'd have a part 3 to write about, but I'm pleased to tell you...we do.

David has not been incredibly consistent in watering the acorns this winter.  Part of it was that it was decided to move the trays of planted acorns down to the "old basement" of the house.  Knut was concerned our house would be too dry, and the very idea of not using our front entryway all winter was just too much.  He thought the little cups would be more moist in the unfinished part of our basement.  That part of the house is more of a diversion and pump area for the basement flooding that happens every spring, as well as the place Knut has his wax bench set up for waxing the family's skis.

So we set the trays down there, but unfortunately, "Out of sight, Out of mind" and it they didn't get watered every week like we had planned.  Though honestly we didn't know if they needed to be watered every week, every day, or every month.  We simply couldn't find any information on how much attention they needed, though we got the feeling it wasn't much.  Oak tree seedlings in the "wild" lay nearly dormant all winter without being watered, and the sources we read seemed to say we should try to emulate that.

So either David remembered, or we remembered to remind David to water them about once or twice a month all winter.  I think there was a good 6 weeks that they got no attention at all because we just forgot.

So I was really worried that we would have to throw them all out, and I had actually begun to wonder if we should sneak them out of the house, or if we'd have to break it straight to David that the acorn project had failed.  We were going to wait the full length of the process, and throw them out maybe around early June.

I still reminded David when I could.  I still let him water them when he remembered.  Yesterday was a day that I remembered them, and I sent him down there to water his trees, and he came up yelling and excited that they had started to sprout.

They have started to sprout!

I ran down to the basement with him, and saw that over all the trays that we had down there, (hundreds of trees) there was somewhere around 5-10 that had shoots coming up out of the cup.  I'm sure there are more coming.  It's a dark room down there, so we brought up a few to take some pictures.

We've decided to move the trays back up to the front entryway in the next day or two to get these little guys back in the light.  We need to do some research and see if we need to transfer them into bigger cups.  The taproot of these little guys are on my mind, as they aren't supposed to spiral on the bottom.  These little stems feel strong and woody.  When I was describing them to Knut he laughed and said, "They're oak trees, Gretchen, not marigolds."  I've just never been apart of a baby tree project before, and I didn't know how they would feel.  These little guys are stiff and strong.

Regardless of any of that, David is really excited he will have a project to take to the county fair as his big 4H project.  He's excited at the very least we'll have trees to plant in our yard, and very likely, he'll have some trees to sell at the local farmer's market this summer.  He may be able to buy the pigs he wants to raise after all.  I guess Knut needs to look into fencing in the woods behind our house for David's pigs this summer sometime, because it looks like David may get the money for them after all.

I'll admit, seeing these little guys, Knut and I gave out a big sigh of relief.  We made it to Part 3.

Now I'm fairly certain, we'll get to a Part 4 later on this year.

I'm Blessed

I have been spring-ifying the house this last week.  It cannot wait any longer.  I've been spring cleaning like mad, and putting out any decorations I own that are green.  I suppose since I'm half Irish, I should claim this green obsession with my heritage being celebrated on this day.  Hey, if it's an excuse to flood this white world with color, I'll take it.

The phrase "Morning by morning, new mercies I see" from the hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness" has been stuck in my head for days now.  I'm reminded of the repetition of God's blessings.  It probably works out that way because we forget them in a millisecond.  

Last week I was getting the girls in their pajamas when Solveig ran to the window to see a bright pink sunset outside her window.  She yelled, "God made the sky PINK for ME!"  Now, maybe that was a little narcissistic of her, but I still love it.  Oh, that we would delight in things like that.  

I've been thinking about my kids lately, and how what seems to be their greatest desire is that I enjoy them.  The love when I laugh at their jokes.  They love when I try to make them smile.  They get so excited when I praise their work.  

Likewise, they hate when I tell them to leave me alone.  They hate when I cast them aside.  In all reality, what they want doesn't always require a lot of time.  What they want is for someone to delight in them.  Really, that's what we all want.  We all want someone to say, "Wow, isn't he/she amazing?  I love what they do."

I can't help but think that God loves that too.  Wow! Look at that sunset!  That's AMAZING!

Look at the perfection of these snowflakes!  Look at the color of your eyes!  They're beautiful!

John Piper talks about in his book Desiring God that worshiping out of duty is akin to a husband bringing his wife flowers for their anniversary and saying, "It is our anniversary, and custom dictates that I give you flowers.  So here they are, you better like them."  That doesn't go over so well.  

It's all a love story.  This is all a love story.  Looking for, and finding that delight, recognizing and praising for His gifts is all part of the love story.

Fortunately, those mercies, these gifts that He leaves us are there for us to find, morning by morning.

I'm blessed.

Library Battles

With all of our running about the little girls have had the hardest time squeezing in naps here and there. Ingrid especially is so messed up right now.  I've resigned myself to the fact that they're just going to have to make do, like the rest of us.  I can't seem to bring myself to ask the older kids to give up all of their activities, and I can't seem to bring myself to give up naps for the little girls, so we're just compromising.  That does not bring consistency, but we'll get it all sorted out.

Really, they're good sports.  They got to play in the library play area the other day while David was in chess club.  He was the first kid there again, which he likes because then he can play Doug who sort of sponsors the chess club.  Doug is always teaching him new things.  The club starts at 2:30 even  though  most schools aren't out yet.  It gives the homeschool kids some time first, and then it overlaps with the public school kids who come in, and then we have to leave early to get Silje to choir practice.

I made a mistake, regarding the library, though.  You see, David is obsessive about his screen time.  In fact, he's so obsessive, that we've had to restrict his time on our iPad to only on weekends, and only for an hour.  Otherwise, he doesn't get any schoolwork done.  He only repeatedly asks for the iPad, or rushes through and does a sloppy job then asks for the iPad.  He does a better job studying and exploring outside, and reading for fun when the option for the iPad is off the table on our "work" days.

It's not that I hate technology, it's that I don't want my kids in front of screens 8 hours a day, which is what they do unchecked.  David has the personality that if he gets a taste, his brain is "ruined" for the day.  He can't even focus on anything else.

Which is why I was annoyed that every single "game" the library has offered in the last year has pushed the kids to check out an iPad.  You know these games with prizes, like library candy land, or library bingo, that has the kids cross of all of these "explore the library" things?  Knowing that the library has iPads to check out is one of the things to check off.

The thing is, I don't want my kids to know they can check out an iPad at the library.

I bring them there to pick out books, not play video games.  I knew that if they did that, the library would be ruined.  It would no longer be a place in their minds to go read, and discover new things.  It would be a place to go play Angry Birds.

Silje does these library promotional games diligently, and wins free books, or pencils and stuff.  She loves it.  I've managed to tell her "no" to checking out an iPad for the games in the last year, and she's still managed to get her prizes.  However, the last game was bingo, and if she could black out her page, she got to pick out a free book, and one she's been wanting was on the prize shelf.  So she gave me her doe eyes and asked if she could check out an iPad just so she could black out her bingo card.

So I caved.  In a moment of weakness, I said, "OK, you can check one out, but only for 30 minutes, and we will never, ever do it again, and you will never, ever ask again."  She agreed to my terms, and checked out the iPad, and earned her book.

It was only a matter of .05 seconds for David to see that Silje got to check out an iPad.  He thought it was so unfair.  I never let him check one out.  I told him that maybe next week, he could get 30 minutes on the iPad and mark off his bingo sheet (which he didn't even care about, and I wish that he would actually do the discover-what-the-library-has-to offer activities), but he had the same terms.  He would not ever do it again, and he would never ask again.  In hindsight, I should have made him do the full library game in order to earn the 30 minutes of iPad time.

So the next week he got his 30 minutes, and dutifully returned it afterwards.  I thought I was in the clear.

I wasn't.  Now he leaves chess club, mid-game, and begs me to check out an iPad.  He won't pick out books to bring home, because he just wants an iPad.  He just gets mad because none of the books are as fun as the iPad.  He won't talk with his friends in chess club or watch other people play anymore.  He's just hanging on me for an iPad.

I have not given into him.  Each time he's pestered me, and broke his promise not to ask, I took away one of his weekends with our iPad at home.  He now can't play for a full month because he just couldn't stop asking.  (And really, if I was consistent with my promise, he would be missing far more than a month for how much he's asked.)

I feel like the meanest mommy in the world.  I also know I'm the stupidest for even letting him play at the library, because that is now the new battleground for technology.  I've been strong for a full year.  It will take literally months for my "no" to sink in with David.  That's how obsessive he is.

Now every trip to the library starts out with a lecture of what we do, and what we don't do in the library.  We play chess and talk with friends.  We check out books for the week, and sit and read.  We can play with the train tracks in the play area.  We do not check out iPads and play video games.  If we ask, another weekend of iPad at home is taken away.

Personally, I do not pack up 5 kids, have the 2 little ones skip naps, find hats, coats, mittens, boots, for all of them and drive all the way to town so that they can play games on an iPad.  If I wanted them to play an iPad, I'd give them ours at home and go take a nap.  That would be much easier.

Such is life with a strong-willed child with attention issues.

It's one of those times where I tell myself, "God gave him a strong will for a reason!  This obsessiveness is part of his gifting!  He's going to change the world with that strong will!  It just has to be pointed in the right direction!"  Those are the things I mumble to myself, on the way home from our library battles.